Day Momo (Des Moments) August 1st-15th
I chuckle at a story from the Zen philosopher Alan Watts:
There is a conversation at an English dinner party. The hostess started up the question of death. She asked the various guests what they thought was going to happen to them when they die.
Some thought about reincarnation, others thought about different planes of being. Some thought of being a spirit of God as a continued part of this world. The only one who had yet to answer was Sir Roderick, a devout and pious man of the Church of England.
The hostess asked Sir Roderick what he thought. He said in his booming and powerful English accent, “Ohhh I’m perfectly certain I shall go to Heaven, and enjoy everlasting bliss, but I wish you wouldn’t indulge in such a depressing conversation.”
I always laugh when I think of this.
Watts summarizes that death in the Western world is a real problem. We’ve devised a culture fundamentally resisting death. We hush it up and resist it. We pretend it hasn’t happened.
In late September while I was living in NYC, someone set off a bomb in the Chelsea neighborhood on 23rd St. About 30 people were injured. No one died.
It was a 2 miles from where I lived. Luckily, I was in New Jersey that night with the girl I was dating. I could have very easily been walking on that street as the bomb went off.
That thought makes me shudder. So does the emergency landing when there was a fire on my plane 6 years ago – you can read about here.
I feel that fear of death is the root of all other fears. It’s the cause of fear of the unknown, of loss, of missing out and of failure.
Mastering fear of death is something I hear about. I hear the Zen phrase “die before you die,” and it intrigues me. I think I understand it.
To me, it means accepting that death will come. It means letting go of the ego’s attachment to the body, to be able to accept impermanence. This can allow for more peace in the present moment because worrying about death will not prevent death. But worrying about death will certainly prevent my peace now.
So I try to be mindful of death. I try to remind myself it will come, without worrying about when it will come.
Easier said than done.
2 days after the bombing, I walked on 23rd St in Chelsea. Next to a row of green dumpers on the street, I stood at the exact spot where bomb went off.
I shuddered again. I haven’t learned how to die before I die yet. I hope to one day.
Related posts
Hey Joey! Everyone needs to come to their own conclusion on what an expression of a life philosophy means to them. I really enjoyed reading your opinion and wanted to share mine with you as well. I’m familiar with “die before you die”. I believe it has less to do about the natural death that will inevitably encompass our physical body and more to do with the death of the inner-self. In fact, the 2nd “die” in the quote is supposed to be ignored because you have no control over the reality that everyone eventually takes a final breath. Usually there is a point in our lives when you change your personal philosophy about the kind of person you want to be, or they way you want to dis-continue living your life. The 1st “die” occurs through an experience or life event so powerful, it causes you to re-examine your past or current personal identity. You change the way you feel, therefore, changing the way you live. Looking back on our lives, there are parts of us we which we could change. We regret the things we have done or said, or may be embarrassed of how we handled situations. Although the negative things inspire us to re-invent ourselves as much as the positive things, dwelling on the negative will not allow you fully embrace the new you. In contrast to a saying like, “forgive but don’t forget”, the philosophy of “die before you die”, means to kill the self you used to be. Forgive AND forget, but only as it pertains to yourself, not others. For example, if you were once concerned about accumulating wealth or possessions, but you now realize their lack of importance in your current life, “kill” the person who lived in the big house with expensive items so that the modest person can be truly live. Another example can be to “kill” the prejudice self, in order for the self who now fights for racial equality, can live. Personally, I have tried to do this a few times in my life, but nothing that compared to when my baby and I almost died during childbirth. I already had the twins, so although bringing new life into the world absolutely changes you, Nothing compares to almost losing your life. It put things in perspective pretty clearly for me. Anyway, that’s my personal feelings on “die before you die”. Miss you!! Stay safe!! xox