I wake up and read in the morning. I eat breakfast. Then I read some more. I journal. I write down 5 things I’m grateful for today. I write down ideas for my next writing project. I sit down and write for one to two hours. Later, I have a long lunch talking with other people at the hotel over looking the pacific ocean.
After lunch I might read some more, send an email, or instead play a game of chess or backgammon with one of the other guests. Late afternoon I go for a 3 or 4 mile run on the beach and watch the kite surfers carve the water and fly through the air. Then I jump in the ocean.
This was my life for four days in the small beach town of Mui Ne, Vietnam. It was a beautiful four days. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
While running one day, I thought to myself, “I’m starting to figure out this thing called life.” But then something triggered in my mind. Some kind of awareness alert system I don’t remember having in the past.
I immediately caught myself and reminded myself the minute I say I’ve figured life out, life throws me a curve ball, a challenge, a frustration. Life says, “You think you’ve got it all figured out ehhh? Well go figure this situation out you weren’t expecting.”
It’s happened all too often in my life. I’m flying high. Great news can be seen in the horizon. Alas, something happens. It doesn’t materialize. My expectations are not met. Disappointment ensues.
Sometimes great news does comes. I’m happy. The circumstances made me happy. Life is on the “up and up.” I think I’ve figured it out. After a few days I realize this feeling is fleeting. It doesn’t last and I realize I don’t have it all figure out.
I have more perspective today. My awareness alert system helps keep me grounded (not all the time, but more so now).
Running on the beach I reminded myself to stay curious. To stay uncertain about things. I want to remain uncertain about what my expectations are and what my results mean. To recognize how much weight I’m putting on my expectations. To ask myself better questions.
One thing I will be certain about is living a life I enjoy. In a way in I’m evolving a little bit more each day. That’s it.
I no longer want the pressure of figuring this thing called life. My goal is to live a life that is never figured out. This keeps me curious.