My internal clock is tilted. Full day of flying and now nine hours ahead in Mumbai, India.
But there’s more to it. Fear and uncertainty. Not of India. Not of travel. Not of being on my own as I wander through this vast, intriguing country.
I fear the near future, the next 15 months. I’m uncertain how it will play out.
I’m fretting about my next book idea. I’m starting a new business that will launch in 2018. I’m not sure if I want to move back to the States or continuing living abroad. My money is running out.
4:30am – I’m tossing and turning in my bed.
I grab my phone in the darkness. I switch off airplane mode and connect to wifi. I open up Snapchat.
I start watching stories. Friends enjoying dinner, an ex fling’s night out with the girls, the travels and adventures of single serving friends (reference Fight Club, Edward Norton’s description when meeting Tyler Durden).
I’m getting my social media morphin hit at 4:45am. It’s numbing the pain I feel from the decisions I haven’t made.
Then it comes: A gutshot of advice I didn’t want to hear, but needed to hear. It instantly sobered me from my numbness.
Gary Vee’s Snapchat story. A video clip of him speaking on stage. One line got me good…
Gary Vaynerchuk can get you juiced up and feeling good. He’s a passionate speaker, and genuine too. He doesn’t blow smoke and doesn’t say his way is the right way. Only what works for him.
He asked, “Do your actions match your ambition?”
This twisted me up inside. It made me look in the mirror, right there in the darkness, right there laying down in bed. The mirror inside me couldn’t lie this time.
My answer was no. My actions don’t match my ambitions.
My ambition is to write. To earn a living as a writer, to become financially free through my writing.
Yet, I don’t write enough.
Gary Vee caught me.
Time to get to work.