Day Momo (Des Moments) August 1st-15th
As I continue to read Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, I continue to get enlightening insights.
It’s a powerful read. You can check it out here:
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha
One section of her book talks about what she calls unconditional friendliness. Not only towards others, but also with yourself, and your thoughts.
We all have dealt with negative thoughts. They can range from small frustrations, and annoyances to depression, despair, and anxiety.
Tara talks about how to deal with these thoughts and feelings. The first step is to be aware, name and note theses thoughts (with yourself or someone else), instead of resisting and suppressing them.
By accepting, you get closer to dissolving the negative thoughts, and creating better thoughts. It seems counterintuitive, but accepting is the key to change, and is more effective than continually resisting.
One way to accept these negative thoughts is by naming and noting them, and exuding unconditional friendliness towards them.
Tara sites a story from the Buddha to illustrate this further:
The Buddha’s state of being is called the “Middle Way.” This is a way of being; being in equanimity. It is a way of not getting caught up it extreme pleasures, or the vices of life. At the same time, not pushing away; resisting any pain that may come into your life, or your mind.
As the story goes, the Buddha learns to deal with “Mara.” Mara, metaphorically is delusion; pain, anxiety, regret, negative thoughts and feelings, etc. It can by personified in the Buddhist stories, as powerful storms, temptresses, a monster, a violent army, chaos, etc.
Whenever “Mara” would come in some negative form, Buddha would pay attention, and not fight the fear. Instead, he would open up to his fear, and with a tender heart he would try to exude love, radiance and acceptance towards the fear. He would look “Mara” in the eye and smile.
He would tell Mara, “I see you Mara, come join me for tea.”
Next time you have a fear, some anxiety about the future, or some regret about the past, try something different.
Try to accept those feelings with an open heart.
Try to be friendly towards those unfriendly feelings, try to smile at them.
Invite them over to your house for afternoon tea.
Joseph Metcalfe
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