Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. Read it.
I have gotten so much inspiration, and mindful realizations from Tara. Thank you Tara.
Here is one story that has made an impact from the book, and I share with you.
The Power of the Pause.
Pausing is like a temporary nirvana in our life. It can give us peace and control, versus reacting to someone or something in an unwanted way. This pause, or non-reaction can empower us tremendously.
Tara demonstrates the Power of the Pause through an analogy of a bull/matador match. The matador’s goal to defeat the bull by keeping the bull scattered, confused, and out of control throughout the ring. While this is happening, the matador is in control.
However, sometimes the bull can step away, and pause from the matador. The bull is not distracted, and not antagonized by the matador.
This is called the bull’s Carencia. When the bull finds his Carencia, it’s no longer flustered, and realizes its true strength and power. The matador knows this is when the bull is most dangerous.
We too, have this power of Carencia. This power we find when we pause.
We are conditioned to be in a state of reactivity all the time. We react to others when arguing, and we scold, or bite back at someone. This reactivity only fuels the negative situation even further.
By pausing, and taking a deep breath, we now radiant peace. We are able let go of something that might otherwise would have given us bad energy.
When we pause we look at the situation from a deeper perspective, and from a lighter state of being. This allows us to calmly express our feelings to someone else, in a clear, non-dramatic, and effective way.
This is true power. This is how to deal with difficult and unconscious people.
This is the power of the pause.
It may take practice, and may be difficult at first.
As a result, life will be less stressful, more empowering, and more valuable your relationships, and well-being.
Find your Carencia in the “bull fighting ring of life.”